The Forgotten
by Brenda924
Summary: After Xelha tells them the news, how do Gram and Leon's wives really react to their husbands' deaths? Chapter 2 up! COMPLETE.
1. Jealousy

**Hi everyone, and welcome to my new story! I'm pretty sure this is the first story of it's kind on FFN, so I'm proud to be the author of it. I'm not sure how well I write when I'm not doing humor, but I tried pretty hard on this one. It's really short, but I think it's still a pretty good story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Baten Kaitos.  
**

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"I'm sorry, I truly am," the Ice Queen said as she walked towards the door. I gave her a weak smile and then turned away. When I heard her leave, I walked over to a chair and sat down. 

_Leon is dead. He died trying to protect me..._

Queen Xelha's words replay in my mind again and again. She had told me everything that happened that day: how the Sabre Dragon had attacked without warning, how it had killed both my husband and his friend Gram in one blow. How a blue-haired boy had helped her slay it.

How the blue-haired boy had arrived only moments too late.

There are so many 'what-if's.' What if they had left Wazn a different day? Or had it been only hours that had sealed his fate? What if Queen Xelha had lost just a little less power after her nightmare? What if the blue-haired boy had gotten there sooner? What if the blue-haired boy had gone in with them, instead of after them?

What if I had stopped him from going?

It certainly wouldn't have been hard to stop him. He did not want to go to begin with. He volunteered, true, but it was out of _duty,_ he was _obligated _to go. He did not _want _to. Nobody else saw the reluctance in his face, the hesitation in his step. Nobody else saw him sit for hours and do nothing except worry. Nobody saw the look he gave me when he boarded the ship. There were so many other people-men, women, even children!-who would have dreamed for this! So many citizens of Wazn who wanted nothing more than to protect the Ice Queen and the Ocean! So many that believed this was the best cause one could die for! Leon...he was not one of them. A simple plea from me and he would have stayed home! He would have been alive! I know that the queen doesn't know this, and I didn't tell her. What would giving her more guilt accomplish?

Then again...maybe she deserves it.

She doesn't feel as badly about this as she should. But how could she? She doesn't know everything that I know. She thinks that Leon wanted to go, that he couldn't wait for a chance like this. She thinks that he gave his life in the best way he could imagine. She thinks that he believed he was fulfilling his duty as a citizen of Wazn and it was the least he could do. I told her all of this was true, I reassured our queen that it was not her fault. I told her that I understood completely.

But there is so much everyone else doesn't see.

Leon had at least a small urge to protect the Ocean, as all people of Wazn do. And everyone who hears about him will think that he died for this cause, that he helped save the Ice Queen, the Ocean, and the world. If that were true, I am sure he would feel better, only a small bit, but still better. And so would I! To have been married to and loved by a man who helped save the world would be a small consolation for loosing the one you love, but it would at least mean _something_. But the truth is, Leon didn't help save _anything._ If what Queen Xelha said was true, then he was killed before he could land even a single blow to the Sabre Dragon! Had he even scratched it would have meant something, but...he didn't. He couldn't. He died for nothing. And...

I am jealous.

Queen Xelha...she got everything! She got all the things that I deserved! When Leon died, she was the one by his side. She was the last thing he saw before his eyes closed for the last time. She was the one who said our nation's prayer for him. She was the last one to touch him, the last one to feel his warmth. And maybe...maybe she was the last one Leon thought about. But these things-things that I would die for!-were not enough for her! She allowed that blue-haired boy to take Leon's things! She...she stole from him, even though she claimed he was her friend!

_I took Leon's pendant so that I could give it to you...but it was lost along the way._

She lost what little I could have had! I was not there when he died; I at least deserve a small token from him! Something that would remind me of our love, something that I could hold and be soothed by...couldn't I have had that much? I deserve it! I need it! I told Queen Xelha that my memories are enough, but they're not.

In time, all memories fade into nothingness.

Already, I am forgetting. I cannot remember where all his freckles were, or the exact shade of his skin. I cannot quite remember the sound of his voice. I cannot recall the feeling his touch left me with. I cannot recreate the way my heart sped up when he held my closely or whispered into my ear. I know that, eventually, I will not remember anything except that this man existed. And, in time, I may forget even that.

Maybe I already have.

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**Please review and tell me what you thought of it. If it's any good I'll do a chapter on Gram's wife. Constructive criticism is welcome, wanted, and appreciated! Flames will be posted on my List of Flames, which is currently empty.**


	2. Pretend

**Hello, and welcome to Chapter 2 of The Forgotten! I was really nervous about posting this story, and even more nervous about this particular chapter. It took me a while to write this one, it was actually really hard to get it to lead to the ending I wanted. I also had trouble conveying the emotions I wanted to show, but I think I might have finally gotten it right.  
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**.Disclaimer: I do not own Baten Kaitos. Probably never will. It would be really cool if I did, though.  
**

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_...Gram, your husband, is dead. A Sabre Dragon killed him months ago while he was trying to protect me. His friend Leon died, too. I took his armlet so I could give it to you, but it was lost along the way. I'm very sorry, about everything..._

I can still remember the whole conversation clearly. Every word, every awkward pause. I remember how the Ice Queen's voice had become quieter and her eyes averted mine right before she told me the news. I remember how she had hesitantly fingered her bracelets as she spoke and how she didn't seem sure if she should offer some kind of physical contact. I remember the numbness that came over me when she first spoke. I remember thinking how I would never again see him, touch him, or be with him. I remember how I had been too shocked to make even the smallest noise. I remember wondering why it had taken so long for them to tell me, why they had let me live for months thinking that Gram was alive and well.

It must be a joke, right? People play jokes on their friends and family all the time! Gram likes jokes. I'm sure he does. He's played tons of jokes on me! I can't remember any at the moment, but I'm sure he did! I know that he must have...

I know! The time when he hid my necklace under the table, and I didn't find it for days! At the time, I thought it had simply fallen, but I know now that it must have been him!

That proves it, then! He loves jokes! This must be a joke! It makes perfect sense. This is just another one of Gram's jokes! It's a really good one, too. I wonder how he got Queen Xelha to go along with it? She's good actress, actually. I wonder if Gram told her what to say or if she thought it up on her own? I will have to remember to ask him when I see him again. It will be the first time I've seen him in such a long time!

I will ask him all sorts of things! About his adventures, about what the Outside Lands look like. I wonder if they have snow in the Outside? I have so much to ask him...

But...why hasn't he come into our room yet? It's been a while since Queen Xelha left, at least a half an hour. I would have thought he'd have come in by now, to see me and tell me it was all a joke...

Maybe he knows that I figured out it was a joke! Maybe Queen Xelha told him that I looked skeptical. If that is the case, then he's probably waiting a while so that I start to doubt myself and believe that he's dead. But Gram can't fool me this time!

Should I go outside and talk to him, or wait for him to come in? I want to see him as soon as I can, but...what if he's not out there?

Not that I think he really is dead...just that he might not be right outside. That's all I meant, that's all I was doubting. He's alive and in Wazn, and he'll come in when he thinks it's best. He is trying to fool me, that's why he isn't in here. And that's why it's pointless to go out and call for him. Gram is fine, and he'll come in soon. I don't need to go outside, I don't need to see that he's out there.

Because he is out there. I already know. I'm completely sure of it. There is no point in leaving this room until he comes in. If I leave, I might spoil the joke for him. Gram must have worked really hard on this one. So I should just wait in here. There is no reason to leave. No reason to doubt myself. No reason to ruin his fun.

Gram probably wouldn't be waiting right outside the door, anyways. He's probably hiding. He's trying to make this joke go on as long as possible. It would be no fun if walking out the door would end the joke, so he wouldn't stand out there. I could go outside if I wanted, I know he won't be out there. Because he's somewhere else. Because he's hiding. Not because he died.

It's all a joke. A good joke. A very clever joke.

But it's not so funny anymore. I want Gram! I want my husband! I want to talk to him, to hold him, to be with him. I want to see him _now_.

Why can't I can't bring myself to leave the room? I can't bear the thought of going out there and seeing empty hallways, even though I already know he won't be there. He...he's hiding, I know. But...why am I so hesitant?

It's working. Gram's plan is working. He's making me doubt myself. But I must remember that that is all that's happening. He's trying to trick me, is all. Now that the second part of the trick is working, he should be here soon. So I will wait some more. He will come through the door any minute.

He won't be much longer.

Maybe I should try to get back at him. I will act like I actually believe he's dead. I will wait here for as long as it takes, lay down on the bed, and pretend to cry. Just pretend. Because I'm not sad. I'm happy, extremely happy, because Gram is finally back. I couldn't possibly cry for real...it's just pretend, just a joke.

I will lay here for as long as it takes for him to come in. I will cry-no, _pretend_ to cry-until he comes back. He'll see me and think that I believed him, but he'll be too guilty to laugh. He'll sit by my side and apologize. He'll hold me and comfort me. He'll kiss me and run his hands through my hair, just like always.

And he'll wipe away my tears. They're not real, I can make myself cry. I didn't know that until today. I can feel them, hot and sticky, falling down my face. They're fake, they must be, because I'm not sad. Gram is back. I am happy.

He'll be here soon, I know it. Until then, I will wait. I will pretend to mourn and cry. I will pretend to be sad. I cannot possibly do those things for real at the moment, for I am much too happy. So I will pretend. And I will fool him. And he will be here soon. And then we can stop the jokes.

Any minute now.

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**Did you like it? Review and tell me what you think of it. I'm not sure if I was able to convey the emotions that well, but I always think poorly of my own writing. so I can't really tell. It mentions Xelha a lot less then I had originally planned, but I think it works out better this way. **

**Thank you to Fan Fan Girl and Strawberry Eggs for reviewing the last chapter, and to Fan Fan Girl again for encouraging me to write more. -cough- peer pressure -cough-**


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